Learning

	
			What am I waiting for, Lord?
			What am I supposed to be doing here?
			I seem to be forever waiting -
			Maybe because I am not ready for anything more - 
			But how am I to know?
			I need a direction to go to.
			I have no aim to push towards...

			Let me have nothing at all - 
			Take me away from everything -
			Let me have no distraction - 
			Hold me beyond all else -
			Hide me from everything,
			And hide all from me except for you.
			In this way might I finally get to know you truly -
			For I never find the time now -
			And always am I distracted from your path -
			The path that I wish to travel so wholly -
			But cannot at the moment...

			I need to have time to work out who I am now,
			And more so:
			Who I really should be.

			But I wonder if this hidden, meditative way is the way to do it - 
			It would be much easier to be forced into such a thing...
			But it would be so much easier than having to work everything out 
			Even while it continues to change around me.

			Give me something to hold on to!
			Give me an obvious path to follow, I pray!
			I'm wandering...
			Not from faith in your ways - 
			But in knowledge of you and the right life.

			Please take my desires -
			Make your desires for me
			Also my own.
			For I'm caught in this trap of human greed -
			Desire for things for myself - 
			Humbleness does not figure much in my life...

			I fluctuate from seeing myself as a Lord or King of men,
			To nothing,
			Unto the last prophet before the end,
			And then unto nothing again as I fail to see any way
			That I can be either of the others -
			I cannot see my place in the middle of it all!
			Where am I heading?!

			I will continue to wait -
			For it is yours to give and reveal as you will -
			But I do pray for guidance now.
			Speak to me, Lord -
			Tell me what it is I am to do
			And I will complete the task -
			But only with you paving my way
			And changing my heart to what it should be -
			For I am caught at this moment - 
			Thrashing around in this net,
			Only making things worse...