Civilised Enmity

			Tired of seeing her face each day,
			Sick of having to speak civilly to her;
			Having to see her far too familiar 
			Smiles, nuances and body each day.
			It turns me insane to watch her talking and flirting,
			Exactly the way that we used to.
			I dream often of telling her
			Exactly the way I feel about her.
			I never do.
			It would be too painful for her maybe.
			Damn her!
			She has ruined a part of my life -
			Why cannot I ruin a part of hers?
			Because I am supposed to be sensitive, 
			That's why.
			Not because I would regret it,
			But because of the way people would see me.
			'Insensitive bastard' they will think as I walk past.
			That's how the world works - 
			They will not know the very important 'why' of it all -
			They will judge me irrespectively.