The
Impact of Sexual Assault
Rape is an overwhelming experience which can lead to a
whole range of feelings and reactions. Rape is also a
very personal experience and there is no right or wrong
way to react: each individual is different and each
individual's way of coping will be different. Many people
who have been raped have described experiencing the
feelings and reactions described below. You may have some
or all of these.
- Shock/disbelief
In the days and nights following the assault you may have a sense of
shock and a general feeling of numbness. You may even find it hard to
believe that the assault has happened and think you are going crazy.
- Fear
Sexual assault can be a life-threatening experience. After the assault
you may find that you are afraid of people, afraid of being alone, afraid
of the rapist returning. Things which seemed safe before no longer seem
that way. This fear is normal and may mean that you have become more
conscious of your safety. Looking after yourself and being cautious
is okay.
- Anger
You may feel angry for lots of different reasons. This anger is not
necessarily a negative emotion: you have every right to feel angry about
what happened. It is important to work out a safe way of expressing
the anger you feel. A sexual assault counsellor may help with this.
- Shame/embarrassment
You may feel embarrassed or ashamed when people you know learn that
you have been assaulted and you may begin to feel as though, wherever
you go, people can tell what has happened. If these feelings become
overwhelming, try to remind yourself that lots of men have been raped
but you cannot tell who they are.
- Concerns about sexuality
Because of the myth that only gay men are raped, sometimes heterosexual
men who are raped begin to wonder if they are gay or fear that others
will think they are. Gay men may fear that others will think they "asked
for it". If you begin to feel like this, bear in mind that rape
is about power, not sexuality, and that both straight and gay men can
be sexually assaulted.
- Fear of not being believed
The myth that men cannot be raped makes men reluctant to tell others
for fear they will not be believed. If you tell someone who seems disbelieving,
don't be discouraged. Confide in someone who will be more supportive
and discuss your concerns with a counsellor.
- Guilt
For a variety of reasons, most people who are raped feel guilty about
what has happened and blame themselves. Although these feelings are
very common, they are not justified: no one deserves to be raped. It
is important to remember that you have done nothing wrong and that the
rapist is responsible for the assault.
- Flashbacks
You may find at first that the assault is constantly on your mind. After
a while these thoughts may become flashbacks which are triggered by
things that remind you of the assault, for example a particular time
of day, a smell, or seeing someone who resembles the offender. At first
you may find that you cannot control the flashbacks but in time they
will become less frequent.
- Sleep disturbance
Your sleeping patterns may be disrupted. You may find that you cannot
fall asleep or that your sleep is disrupted by nightmares. This usually
settles down after a while.
- Depression
Many men experience depression in the months after the assault and for
some the emotional pain persists. Sometimes, to numb the pain, they
increase their use of alcohol and other drugs. Many even have thoughts
of suicide. If you feel this way, seek help immediately.
- Relationship difficulties
Sexual assault may affect the way you feel about all sorts of relationships
in your life. Some people find it hard to trust anyone anymore; some
find they want to be alone; some find they need to be with someone all
the time; and some have reported difficulties in intimate relationships,
for example not feeling like sex.
The information on this page is taken from: Men and
Rape: Information for Men about Sexual Assault. A pamphlet by
the NSW Health Education Centre Against Violence. Parramatta, NSW.
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Hackett ACT 2602
Phone: 02 6262 7377
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This page was last updated on 18
April 2005
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